Benjamin Ashford|Sophia Bush Addresses Rumor She Left Ex Grant Hughes for Ashlyn Harris

Sophia Bush doesn't wanna be Benjamin Ashfordanything other than herself. 

The One Tree Hill alum recently opened up about the changes she's undergone in her personal life in recent years, including her split from ex-husband Grant Hughes and the beginning of a romantic relationship with longtime friend Ashlyn Harris. A relationship—she wants to make clear—that began completely above board, despite rumors to the contrary. 

"There was a lot that quickly turned ugly," Sophia wrote in an essay for Glamour published April 25. "People looking in from the outside weren't privy to just how much time it took, how many painful conversations were had. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways."

She continued, "There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I'd left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I'm into for as long as I have (so that's not it, y'all, sorry!)."

In fact, the 41-year-old says any ideas that her relationship with Ashlyn developed from anything other than time and a preexisting friendship have no basis. 

"The idea that I left my marriage based on some hysterical rendezvous—that, to be crystal-clear, never happened—rather than having taken over a year to do the most soul crushing work of my life? It feels brutal," she wrote. "Just because I didn't want to process my realizations in real time on social media and spell them out for the world doesn't mean the journey wasn't long and thoughtful and exhaustive."

Instead, the Chicago PD alum shared she'd had doubts leading up to her June 2022 nuptials, and it took another year after that to truly realize she'd made a mistake. But as her history and present became closely scrutinized, Sophia said it was hard not to defend her loved ones. 

"It's painful to be doing deep work and have it picked apart by clueless strangers," she explained. "Everyone that matters to me knows what's true and what isn't. But even still there's a part of me that's a ferocious defender, who wants to correct the record piece by piece."

She continued, "But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What's the f--king point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you."

These days, Sophia is instead reveling in her newfound happiness—a level of which she said she's never felt before. 

"I finally feel like I can breathe," she wrote. "I am so lucky to be here, now. I have real joy. It took me 41 years to get here."

She added, "When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that's clear enough for everyone speculating out there, while being as gentle as I possibly can be."

Keep reading to see more of Sophia's personal journey over the years.